Who doesn’t want to feel like a kid again? I would love to be one!! There is something magical about it.
I still love the merry-go-round and don’t hesitate to ride one whenever the opportunity presents itself.
“Life is a merry-go-round ride”, reminds me of the childhood rhyme we all grew up singing in our kindergarten,
“Ring a ring, a rosie
A pocketful of posies
A-tishoo! a-tishoo!
We all fall down.”
Isn’t Life somewhat similar?
Life is a roller coaster, with many highs and lows and curves. We get tossed around, but things level out in the end, and life returns to normal until the next ride.
I can relate to this with my example. When I passed my final year of engineering and received a job offer letter from a well-known engineering company in Pune, I was full of energy and optimism and felt like I was on top of the world.
I started my career excitedly and enthusiastically, like a child hopping onto a merry-go-round.
Like the horses on the merry-go-round that goes up and down, repeating the same motion, my career also experienced success, achievements, failures, setbacks and disappointments. And this continued throughout my career of three decades and more.
Each time I changed jobs, I went through this same cycle. Initially, everything in the new job is exciting, and then slowly, the monotony sets in.
I had to take on further risks, grab new opportunities, work on new initiatives and keep moving. Despite the challenges, I kept pushing forward and finding new ways to develop and grow professionally.
After spending three decades and more in the industry, reflecting on my career journey, I realised that despite the ups and downs, it was all worth it.
I feel grateful for the experiences, the people I met along the way and the lessons I learned.
What I experienced in my career is also what we experience in all aspects of our lives.
Life is Fleeting
The phrase, Life is a merry-go-round also suggests that life is fleeting and we should enjoy the ride while we can.
The fragility of life is daunting, and it inspires us to live in the present and enjoy and appreciate every moment we have.
The COVID-19 pandemic brought home the reality that Life is fleeting.
I lost some good friends who were hale and hearty a few days before they became seriously ill, had to be admitted to the hospital, and succumbed to the disease. It reminded me of the fragility and unpredictability of Life.
It is easy to get caught up in the daily grind of Life. Life can change instantly; therefore, we need to cherish every moment with our loved ones.
Time passes quickly, and I, therefore, adopt some fundamental ways to embrace the fleeting nature of Life,
Appreciating people and letting them know how much I love and care for them helps me cherish every moment I spend with them. Life is short, and we never know when our loved ones will be taken away from us. My mom has been diagnosed with late-onset dementia. I spend time with her and look at old photos with her. She remembers something, and we talk about it. When she is in a good mood, I ask her for recipes, and she tells me whatever she remembers. I spend time every evening watching television with her. My friends come and meet her every evening and hug her.
Pursue my passions even amid all uncertainties. I continue spending time consulting, writing and gardening even though a large part of my day is spent in elder care activities.
I have started maintaining a gratitude journal and spending time every evening reflecting and writing about things I am grateful for. I write about all things that made me smile during the day.
In conclusion, I have learnt to make the most of every moment. Life is a precious gift, and better make it meaningful.
“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” – Haruki Murakami
This insightful quote resonates with ancient Buddhist wisdom and holds a profound truth. I’ve encountered its wisdom in my personal journey, and today, I witness its relevance when working with young leaders and individuals within the companies I consult for.
There is a relationship between pain and happiness. Be it in personal life or professional life.
My aspiration to become an engineer after graduating from school was fraught with challenges. Securing admission to my preferred college was an arduous endeavour, and even after achieving that milestone, I had to exert immense effort to enrol in the engineering branch of my choice.
My father, a source of enduring wisdom, instilled in me the belief that success doesn’t come easily. He often cited Winston Churchill’s words, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” This lesson has remained my guiding light throughout my life.
Many young people today dream of a thriving corporate career, a prestigious corner office, financial prosperity, and a harmonious work-life balance. However, they often underestimate the demanding journey that leads to such achievements. Failure to anticipate and address the challenges on this path can result in disappointment and depression.
Success and happiness in the professional realm necessitate a willingness to grapple with adversity, job uncertainties, setbacks, rejections, and, at times, toxic work environments or lengthy commutes. The rewards and contentment we seek are intrinsically connected to the difficulties we endure—a truth that cannot be ignored.
It’s akin to taking bitter medicine; only by doing so can we alleviate suffering and find the rewards we seek.
The Oak Tree In The Garden- Embracing Pain
Allow me to share a Zen story that underscores the importance of embracing suffering as an integral facet of life:
In a lush garden filled with an array of trees, flowers, and plants, a towering oak tree stood at the centre, exuding strength and grandeur. Many admired this oak tree for its imposing presence.
One day, a traveller passing through the garden took notice of the oak tree and approached it. He exclaimed, “You are undeniably a magnificent tree, standing tall and proud. You must be the happiest tree in this entire garden.”
The oak tree humbly responded, “I appreciate your kind words, but my happiness isn’t solely derived from my stature and strength. Over the course of my long existence, I’ve weathered countless storms, fierce winds, and harsh winters. I’ve endured the pain of broken branches, falling leaves, and the weight of snow and ice on my limbs. These very experiences have molded me into the tree you see before you.”
Perplexed, the traveller inquired, “But how can you claim to be happy after enduring so much suffering?”
The oak tree replied, “It is through these storms and struggles that I have grown stronger, developing deeper roots. It is through pain that I’ve acquired resilience. It is amidst the changing seasons that I’ve found peace and acceptance. Happiness, to me, is not the absence of suffering but the wisdom to discover joy and contentment amid life’s challenges.”
This Zen story poignantly illustrates that happiness is not the mere absence of pain and suffering but, instead, the capacity to unearth meaning, growth, and serenity amidst life’s tribulations.
The Energy Of Mindfulness for Embracing Pain
Practising mindfulness breathing can give us the inner strength to embrace pain and suffering. Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Zen Buddhist master, elucidates the art of finding happiness amid suffering in his book, “No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Success.” This practical guide empowers us to tackle life’s problems, both minor and monumental, with equanimity.
Wrapping Up
In life, there are no rewards without risks, just as there is no destination without a journey. Isabel Allende aptly captures this sentiment: “There is no light without shadow, just as there is no happiness without pain.” Embracing pain and suffering as part of our journey is the path to true happiness and fulfilment.
Photo by Oleksandr P on Pexels.com. Navigating Life’s Transitions.
A friend of mine was in tears last week as she told me that her son was recently made redundant and has now been forced to join another company in a different city.
She was concerned and worried about his move and the significant career transition he had to go through.
Humanity is currently experiencing a chaotic world. In this world, life transitions are frequent. Mastering the skills to manage changes and transitions therefore becomes crucial.
“Your life is a story of transition. You are always leaving one chapter behind while moving on to the next.” – Anonymous.
From the time we crawl out of the womb, we experience change. Many changes happen during our lifetime. Change invariably happens as we transition to a new phase in life, moving from infancy, childhood to adolescence, adulthood to old age.
We may not always be prepared for the changes, but we accept them and move on, sometimes with resistance. So, change is not new for us, yet we don’t like it.
Revolutionary changes, climatic changes, and pandemics are affecting our lifestyles and throwing us off balance. Year 2020 was disruptive for all of us, and our routines have changed forever.
Somewhere in this life’s journey, we tend to carve out a comfort zone for ourselves. A pattern sets in. We get conditioned to a particular lifestyle and follow routines. Even a slight disturbance to the routine makes us cringe. We question the reason that rocked the boat. Even a positive change makes us feel unsettled and nervous.
What are life transitions?
A life transition is any change that impacts our life in a significant way.
Psychologist William Bridges’ famous book explains the challenging nature of transitions. According to him, the middle ground between the ending of something and a new beginning of something else, where things are uncertain, makes us feel unstable and anxious. The middle ground is a challenging no man’s land. Be it a positive change like a job promotion or a negative change like a death of a loved one, they both move us from our established routines and therefore become difficult to manage.
Difference between Change and Transition
There is a very subtle difference between change and transition.
According to William Bridges, author and expert on change leadership, change is considered external and tied to a certain situation. Transition is internal, the emotional process of how you react to the change. This difference is key to working with change and helping others navigate the transition process. We do not have any control over changes in our environment, whereas transition is how we react to and respond to changes and we can control our reactions
Why are transitions always stressful?
Fear of the unknown can send us in a million directions. Life transitions are stressful because they force us to let go of the familiar. Any change and growth generally begin with some loss. And whenever there is a loss, we feel anxious.
Life transitions can be positive or negative, planned or unplanned. But any change always causes some disruption and is life-altering.
Life transitions are complex, but they also have a positive side. Change is crucial if you have to convert dreams into reality. And therefore, going through the transition can leave us with life lessons.
A personal example of a significant life transition
“Life is like an airport runway. You have to make space constantly so new opportunities can land.” Paul Hanna.
New opportunities are positive changes but can move us from our established routines.
A few years back, I went through an anticipated positive change. I was promoted and asked to manage a complex technical integration program in a different city. On the one hand, there was the excitement of the new opportunity. On the other hand, there was nervousness, anxiety and fear of the security of the role I had left behind.
Added to it was the stress of moving to a different city and leaving behind my family. During this transition, I often questioned my decision and couldn’t understand why I had chosen this route. When routine gets disrupted, uncertainty creeps in. I was resilient enough to manage this stress and did not allow this disruption to prolong.
My life was always full of transitions during my childhood and later during my growing-up years in school and college. There was always a new routine in a new city, a new school or a new college. But there was always support and structure to guide me.
I have depended on this system in my personal and professional life and have therefore always taken less time to adapt and accept changes. Embracing change comes easy to me. Whenever I resist change, my energy levels dip, and this causes a different outcome.
My early years helped me build resilience, so even when I had to move to a different city on promotion, I overcame the stress and anxiety related to the relocation and the new job.
Mental distress during the transition
Fear creates anxiety. It can shut people out. The mental stress that some of us experienced during COVID was due to fear. During the lockdown, each of us went through different worries: fear of not having enough food stock, fear of falling sick due to the virus, fear of not being able to work or return to the office, fear of not knowing when the pandemic would end. Fear is the root cause of mental distress. Fear of the unknown during transition causes mental stress.
Navigating through transition
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates
Navigating through transition is not always easy. Many life transitions like high school to college or marriage into divorce or widowhood can be tough to manage.
Transitioning to retirement from abusy working life is another typical example ofwhen people face anxiety. Such twists and turns cannot be avoided. Organizational events like restructuring, mergers and acquisitions, and financial problems can bring changes.
You will have to face the transition as change will happen whether you like it or not. The only way to deal with such transitions is to acknowledge your emotions as the change impacts you and actively participate in the process.
According to William Bridges, the transition involves three stages:
An ending
A neutral zone
A new beginning
The first step is to acknowledge that change has occurred. Without being judgmental, make a note of what has changed.
The second stage of the neutral zone is the most uncomfortable transition stage. It is during this phase that physiological realignment takes place.
You may not know everything, but setting short-term goals at this stage can help you towards a new beginning and toovercome uncertainty. Keep an open mind and look forward to the beginning and the new possibilities it can create.
As you reach the third stage, some clarity will emerge. Consider this a new beginning. There could be new challenges, but there could also be small wins. Acknowledge these small wins.
How coaches and therapist can help navigate during the transitions
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”- Carl Jung.
In this process of what you choose to become, transition coaches can be a great help.
Be it life transition, career transition or any change, coaches can provide a supportive and productive coaching relationship and help you meet your goals while holding you accountable and keeping you focused on the new beginning. They can help you learn life skills and self-care when facing challenging situations.
A transition coach can partner with you in helping you develop a new leadership skill while navigating the career change.
Transition coaching can help you regain your self-confidence. It can help you see the bigger purpose by supporting you infinding a career that best suits your intrinsic needs and leveraging your potential.
A transition coach or a therapist can help you in the following:
1. Effective stress management if you are suffering from work-related or personal anxiety.
2. Help you strategize and create action plans to achieve your goals and desired career.
3. Overcoming fear and procrastination.
4. Holding you accountable and keeping you focused while you take actions to meet your goals.
5. Helping you align your role with your core values.
Victor Hugo has rightly said “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” This is true for all life and career transitions.
We eagerly await the monsoon season after enduring the scorching summer months. It brings a much-needed refreshing change and serves as a relief for humanity and the environment, which is undergoing a remarkable transformation.
The rains wash away the dust from the trees, causing the grass and foliage to turn a vibrant green. Everywhere, there is a palpable sense of positivity and relief in the air.
Beyond providing respite from the dryness of summer, the monsoon brings joy into our lives. Having experienced the monsoon in various parts of India and at different stages of my life, I have cherished its beauty and significance.
During my childhood in Kutch, near the Great Rann of Kutch in western India, the monsoon season lasted only about four months in this arid desert region. Although the rainfall was limited, I eagerly awaited the heavy showers that allowed me to play in the rain and get drenched. The enchantment of a rainy day multiplied with the unmistakable aroma of wet soil.
One of my all-time favourite activities during the monsoon was making paper boats and setting them afloat in the rainwater collected in a small pond in our garden.
Another delightful aspect was the chai party organized by my mother for our neighbours and friends. The pleasant, cool weather during the rains provided the perfect excuse to relish hot samosas and pakoras with ginger tea.
During my college days in Mumbai, I experienced the monsoon in a different setting. With dark clouds looming over the sea, waves crashing on the shores, and the cool sea breeze gently caressing my face, strolling along Marine Drive or walking on Chowpatty Beach was an experience that left a lasting impression. And who could resist the allure of hot tea and pakoras enjoyed on the beach?
While in college and later during my office days near Nariman Point, I made it a point to take a leisurely walk along the beach after office hours to savour the light showers and the soothing sea breeze.
For the past three decades that I have been in Bangalore, I have witnessed the awe-inspiring display of nature’s beauty during the monsoon season.
Places near Bangalore, such as Coorg in Karnataka, become mystical and almost unreal as rain cascades over the lush green coffee plantations. It feels as if one has stepped into a fairyland.
The flip side of the rain
Bangalore experiences monsoon twice a year, from June to September and then from October to December.
However, it is essential to acknowledge the flip side of the rain when the city comes to a standstill during heavy downpours. Unexpected torrential rains can cause extensive damage, including flooding and fallen trees.
“Rain didn’t make things messy. People did that all on their own.” — Barbara Delinsky.
I cannot agree more with what Barbara Delinsky has said. The quote suggests that rain is not responsible for creating a messy or chaotic environment. Instead, it implies that the messiness or disorder we may observe during rainy conditions results from human actions and behaviours.
Human behaviour, such as littering and neglecting proper waste management, contributes to the messiness associated with rainy weather.
Conclusion
Monsoons are genuinely a gift from nature to humanity, continuing to bring joy into our lives. The experience of rain immerses us in the beauty of nature.
Embracing the rain allows us to witness the enchanting magic that unfolds when water falls from the heavens, revealing the wonders of the natural world.
In today’s tumultuous world, the news bombards us with stories of unkind acts and brutality, questioning humanity’s capacity for love and compassion. However, amidst the chaos, there are still shining examples of Kindness that inspire us to be better.
The 14th Dalai Lama draws attention to the remarkable social responsibility exhibited by small insects like bees. Their cooperative nature and survival instincts showcase a level of unity and harmony that often surpasses human behaviour.
Humans, with our intelligence and capacity for love, should be capable of more extraordinary Kindness, but we sometimes fall short. Nevertheless, it is crucial to recognize the potential Kindness holds in fostering positive connections and forming lasting relationships.
A Personal Encounter with Kindness
A heartwarming incident during my 10th-grade trip to Jammu and Kashmir exemplified the beauty of Kindness. In an unfamiliar city, where we were supposed to be received by a friend’s acquaintance, we faced a disheartening situation due to miscommunication. However, a kind stranger noticed our plight and offered us shelter for the night. His generosity and compassion toward strangers left an indelible mark on me, proving that the world still has kind souls ready to lend a helping hand.
Kindness: A Miracle in Disguise:
Miracles aren’t always grand gestures; sometimes, they come in the form of kind-hearted strangers. One hot summer day, I found myself in a desperate situation after tripping and falling on a busy road. The Kindness of two young girls in the crowd was my saving grace. They selflessly attended to my wounds, safeguarded my belongings, and supported me back to safety. Their compassionate actions reminded me that even in times of distress, there are people willing to go above and beyond for someone they’ve never met before.
Kindness as a Motive
As Eric Hoffer wisely said, “Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind.” In a world that often feels indifferent and harsh, choosing Kindness can set off a chain reaction of goodwill. Remembering that we possess the power to shape the world through actions is essential.
Conclusion
In a world filled with uncertainty and negative news, acts of Kindness become beacons of hope, reminding us that humanity still holds the potential for compassion and love. Let us all strive to be like those small bees, working together to create a better world based on cooperation, understanding, and Kindness. No matter how small, each act of Kindness contributes to the collective effort of building a more empathetic and harmonious society. So, let us be inspired by the examples of Kindness we encounter and be the change we wish to see in the world.
“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing and mojito in your hand.”- Bar Refael
The above quote took me back to my cherished childhood memories. It evoked a sense of nostalgia as the gentle breeze whispered tales of the past.
When I recollect the perfect summer day during my childhood, I am transported to a time when the sun illuminated the sky, the cool breeze brushed against my skin, and a book found solace in my hands instead of a mojito.
During those blissful years, my father was stationed in Kutch, Gujarat, near the enchanting Rann of Kutch. Our house was in the Central Government Colony within the Kandla Port Trust township. Our house had a vast garden and big neem trees in our backyard.
During summer, when I wanted to be alone and escape from my mom’s constant nagging to complete my homework, I sought refuge beneath the comforting shade of a colossal neem tree.
Nestling myself amidst its leafy sanctuary, I would lose myself in the captivating realms of storybooks. I was very fond of reading and, after lunch, would always love to escape and take refuge under the tree with my book.
Occasionally, I completed my homework beneath its protective branches, basking in the tranquil ambience.
The cool breeze would be so soothing. Its soothing touch sometimes lulled me into a peaceful slumber. Summers in Kutch are excruciatingly hot and humid, with temperatures reaching as high as 48 degrees Celsius and the heat scorching.
Under the tree, the shade was delightfully cool and refreshing, and no glare to hurt my eyes.The gentle rustling of leaves, the occasional chirping of birds, and the distant hum of nature’s chorus would form a soothing backdrop.
The fragrance of the Neem leaves added another layer to the experience, infusing the air with its distinct aroma, known for its refreshing and rejuvenating qualities.
The breeze that blows through a neem tree(Azadirachta indica) is supposed to be healthy. Neem has many good medicinal properties.
As I reflect upon those precious moments spent under the neem tree’s warm embrace, I am reminded of the simple joys of childhood.
Simple Joys Of Childhood
Some simple joys that I recollect include:
Running barefoot through the grass lawns ,feeling the tickling blades beneath my feet. I would love chasing the colourful butterflies.
Sitting under the neem tree on a hot sunny day with the cool breeze blowing, savoring the sweetness of ice-cream , each lick a moment of pure delight.
During playtime, giggling uncontrollably during hide and seek, the thrill of being found and finding others.
Planting seeds in the garden along with mom and watching them grow, feeling a sense of accomplishment and wonder.
Childhood is filled with these simple joys where the world seems full of magic and endless possibilities.
