Month: November 2023

Navigating Emotional Turbulence: A Personal Journey Of Self Discovery

A personal journey of self discovery
Navigating Emotional Turbulence- Photo by alleksana on Pexels.com

In the past few days, I found myself caught in the midst of a power struggle unfolding around the execution of high-value projects within our gated community. The management association, responsible for overseeing our community buildings, has unfortunately lost the trust of its residents due to a lack of transparency in financial matters. This has led to a surge in communication, with a barrage of emails exchanged between residents and the association board members

On yet another occasion, during a client presentation, my focus was repeatedly disrupted by one of the client partners. This proved to be a source of frustration, but I felt powerless to shield myself from such challenging individuals.

I have had similar experiences in social circles when certain people where certain individuals consistently provoke irritation and leave me feeling annoyed.

During all the above situations, I experienced getting angry, frustrated, judgmental, and a host of feelings I could not decipher. But it was translating into stress, which I knew was detrimental to my wellbeing. In the past, I have felt similar emotions while reacting to toxic situations at work. I would come out of meetings which felt toxic, argumentative, and not worth spending time at.

These emotions drained my energy levels and, for two days following the event, I hated to do anything constructive as they also hindered my ability to think clearly. I pushed myself to work and stay engaged in work, but it wasn’t easy. Any attempt to think clearly failed. I would find it difficult to manage these emotions, but do nothing about it. Thinking it would disappear with time, and I would be fine again.

Recognizing the need for change, I sought the assistance of a coach to help me manage these emotions and develop the capacity to accept circumstances while experiencing the associated feelings. It became evident that my habitual response was reactive, contributing to stress and an unhealthy environment.

Reacting to Situations Emotionally

“Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear”? ~ Lao Tzu

My coach helped me understand that I was reacting to situations. Mindfulness of my emotions during these moments allowed me to pause and respond more thoughtfully, leading to a more composed and confident approach.

A reaction is the root cause for distress, unclear thinking, and creating a toxic environment. When you respond, it would be a more rounded, controlled, and confident you responding to a situation.

Expectation Trap Causing Emotional Turbulence

“You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.” ~ Lisa Kleypas, Love in the Afternoon

The root of my frustration and anger, as I discovered, lay in unmet expectations. Like everyone else, I held expectations for my surroundings, relationships, work, and various aspects of life. The intensity of my emotional responses depended on the degree of attachment to these expectations. In times when expectations were unmet, frustration ensued, occasionally leading to self-blame for perceived failures.

Most times, I would blame myself for not meeting expectations. Sometimes I thought I had failed completely and I did not have the ability to meet my own expectations.

To mitigate these emotional storms, I learned to lower my expectations, thereby gaining greater control over the intensity and frequency of my emotional reactions.

Acceptance

“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it.” ~ Michael J Fox

I remember Marshall Goldsmith’s article Can You Let Go?. Marshall talks about how acceptance of certain people, or situations, helps to liberate us from toxic emotions.

I have now learned the art of acceptance. I have lowered my expectations and am mindful of my emotions when responding to certain situations or people. I, therefore, am more controlled and do not react.

Lessons Learned

A pivotal lesson emerged from this journey—learning to be mindful of my emotions and embracing a pause before responding. While it initially required practice and patience, this newfound approach has empowered me to navigate similar situations with a positive response, preventing emotions from becoming a source of stress.

Rangoli- A Time Honoured Tradition

two women are sitting on the floor and drawing a colorful design
Photo by Sanket Mishra on Pexels.com

India recently celebrated the Festival of Lights, Diwali, a time when households embrace the tradition of adorning their entrances with intricate patterns known as Rangoli. The term “Rangoli” originates from the Sanskrit word “Rangavalli,” meaning an array of colours.

Rangoli holds a special significance in Hindu households, serving the dual purpose of inviting the Goddess Lakshmi, the deity of wealth, through visually pleasing patterns and welcoming guests. This tradition extends beyond Diwali and is observed during festivals such as Pongal and Onam.

What is Rangoli?

Traditionally, Rangoli is an art of floor decoration symbolizing a household’s happiness, positivity, and vibrancy. This practice has transcended residential spaces in contemporary times, gracing the entrances of businesses and offices during diverse festivals.

Mothers in India pass down the art of Rangoli to their daughters, creating a cultural continuity. I learned this art form from my grandmother and mother, both accomplished artists. My grandmother’s daily ritual of meticulously creating Rangoli at the crack of dawn left an indelible impression. The welcoming ambience, the fragrance of jasmine flowers, and the aroma of morning coffee remain etched in my memory.

My grandmother’s and my mothers’s rangoli, both at the entrance and in the pooja rooms, have always been a visual treat and left me in awe. My daughter-in-law is also an expert in this art form. Her latest rangoli design during this Diwali is in the picture below.

Regional Variations

Rangoli exhibits diverse regional variations across India. Known as Kolam in South India, Mandana in Rajasthan, Alpana in West Bengal, Chowk Purana in Uttar Pradesh, Aripan in Bihar (created using rice flour and paste), and Maharashtra’s floor-drawn designs showcase the rich tapestry of cultural diversity.

Evolution of Rangoli Designs

Scientifically, Rangoli holds significance as geometric patterns, particularly curved ones created by connecting dots, positively impact the environment. These patterns symbolize the universe’s infinite nature and echo sound wave harmonics, contributing to mental well-being.

Inspired by nature, Rangoli designs evoke joy and positivity, ranging from geometric shapes to floral patterns and depictions of Hindu deities. The unbroken lines in these designs serve a protective function, preventing the intrusion of evil spirits.

Worldwide Symbolism

Symmetry in Rangoli designs is universally considered a symbol of prosperity, luck, and growth across religions. It is also believed to be a harbinger of good fortune.

Conclusion

Rangoli is a simple and traditional art form with deep cultural roots. Let every festival inspire us to practice this beautiful tradition, offering a pause in our hectic lifestyles and fostering focus. As we draw traditional Rangolis, we connect with a heritage that transcends generations, embodying joy, positivity, and the spirit of celebration.

The Triumph Of The Hibiscus Plant

My hibiscus plant has a unique and fascinating story. For several years, I’ve been tending to a hibiscus plant on my balcony garden. What makes this plant so special is its vibrant, multicoloured flowers. 

It has consistently bloomed for almost a decade, bringing me immense joy and happiness.

However, six months ago, my beloved hibiscus plant suddenly stopped flowering and begain to wither, appearing sickly. I was determined to revive it and tried everything I could think of.

I repotted it into a larger container, carefully untangled the knotted roots, changed the soil, and added essential nutrients. I patiently waited, hoping that my efforts would pay off, but to my disappointment, the hibiscus showed no signs of rejuvenation.

It continued to look sad and feeble, and I had begun to believe it might have reached the end of its life. I reluctantly decided to discard the plant and purchase a new one.  

However, life had other plans. Due to my upcoming travel, I got caught up with preparations and completely forgot about the plant. In my absence ,my domestic help faithfully watered the hibiscus, along with the rest of my balcony garden.

Upon my return, I was pleasantly surprised to notice a tiny, vibrant green sprig emerging from the plant.  Over the next few weeks, I observed the growth of new leaves.

To my absolute delight, this morning, as I strolled onto my balcony, I was greeted by the enchanting sight of a beautiful pink hibiscus flower in full bloom.  I cannot express the overwhelming happiness I felt upon seeing this unexpected burst of life and colour.  

Lesson Learnt

This experience taught me a valuable lesson.

I didn’t give up on my hibiscus plant; I continued to nurture it, even when all hope seemed lost.

This is a testament to the enduring friendship between me and the plant over the years.

As George Washington wisely noted, ” True friendship is a plant of slow growth,” this hibiscus plant exemplifies the beauty of perseverance and patience in nurturing such relationships.