Month: August 2023

How Transition Coaches Aid in Coping With Life’s Changes

blue jeans
Photo by Oleksandr P on Pexels.com. Navigating Life’s Transitions.

A friend of mine was in tears last week as she told me that her son was recently made redundant and has now been forced to join another company in a different city.

She was concerned and worried about his move and the significant career transition he had to go through.

Humanity is currently experiencing a chaotic world. In this world, life transitions are frequent. Mastering the skills to manage changes and transitions therefore becomes crucial.

“Your life is a story of transition. You are always leaving one chapter behind while moving on to the next.” – Anonymous.

From the time we crawl out of the womb, we experience change. Many changes happen during our lifetime. Change invariably happens as we transition to a new phase in life, moving from infancy, childhood to adolescence, adulthood to old age. 

We may not always be prepared for the changes, but we accept them and move on, sometimes with resistance. So, change is not new for us, yet we don’t like it. 

Revolutionary changes, climatic changes, and pandemics are affecting our lifestyles and throwing us off balance. Year 2020 was disruptive for all of us, and our routines have changed forever.

 Somewhere in this life’s journey, we tend to carve out a comfort zone for ourselves. A pattern sets in. We get conditioned to a particular lifestyle and follow routines. Even a slight disturbance to the routine makes us cringe. We question the reason that rocked the boat. Even a positive change makes us feel unsettled and nervous.

What are life transitions?

A life transition is any change that impacts our life in a significant way.

Psychologist William Bridges’ famous book explains the challenging nature of transitions. According to him, the middle ground between the ending of something and a new beginning of something else, where things are uncertain, makes us feel unstable and anxious. The middle ground is a challenging no man’s land. Be it a positive change like a job promotion or a negative change like a death of a loved one, they both move us from our established routines and therefore become difficult to manage.

Difference between Change and Transition

There is a very subtle difference between change and transition. 

According to William Bridges, author and expert on change leadership, change is considered external and tied to a certain situation. Transition is internal, the emotional process of how you react to the change.  This difference is key to working with change and helping others navigate the transition process. We do not have any control over changes in our environment, whereas transition is how we react to and respond to changes and we can control our reactions

Why are transitions always stressful?

Fear of the unknown can send us in a million directions. Life transitions are stressful because they force us to let go of the familiar. Any change and growth generally begin with some loss. And whenever there is a loss, we feel anxious.

Life transitions can be positive or negative, planned or unplanned. But any change always causes some disruption and is life-altering.

Life transitions are complex, but they also have a positive side. Change is crucial if you have to convert dreams into reality. And therefore, going through the transition can leave us with life lessons.

A personal example of a significant life transition

“Life is like an airport runway. You have to make space constantly so new opportunities can land.” Paul Hanna.

New opportunities are positive changes but can move us from our established routines.

 A few years back, I went through an anticipated positive change. I was promoted and asked to manage a complex technical integration program in a different city. On the one hand, there was the excitement of the new opportunity. On the other hand, there was nervousness, anxiety and fear of the security of the role I had left behind.

 Added to it was the stress of moving to a different city and leaving behind my family. During this transition, I often questioned my decision and couldn’t understand why I had chosen this route. When routine gets disrupted, uncertainty creeps in. I was resilient enough to manage this stress and did not allow this disruption to prolong.

My life was always full of transitions during my childhood and later during my growing-up years in school and college. There was always a new routine in a new city, a new school or a new college. But there was always support and structure to guide me.

I have depended on this system in my personal and professional life and have therefore always taken less time to adapt and accept changes. Embracing change comes easy to me. Whenever I resist change, my energy levels dip, and this causes a different outcome.

My early years helped me build resilience, so even when I had to move to a different city on promotion, I overcame the stress and anxiety related to the relocation and the new job.

Mental distress during the transition

Fear creates anxiety. It can shut people out. The mental stress that some of us experienced during COVID was due to fear. During the lockdown, each of us went through different worries: fear of not having enough food stock, fear of falling sick due to the virus, fear of not being able to work or return to the office, fear of not knowing when the pandemic would end. Fear is the root cause of mental distress. Fear of the unknown during transition causes mental stress.

Navigating through transition

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates

Navigating through transition is not always easy. Many life transitions like high school to college or marriage into divorce or widowhood can be tough to manage.

Transitioning to retirement from a busy working life is another typical example of when people face anxiety. Such twists and turns cannot be avoided. Organizational events like restructuring, mergers and acquisitions, and financial problems can bring changes.

 You will have to face the transition as change will happen whether you like it or not. The only way to deal with such transitions is to acknowledge your emotions as the change impacts you and actively participate in the process.

According to William Bridges, the transition involves three stages:

  1. An ending
  2. A neutral zone
  3. A new beginning

The first step is to acknowledge that change has occurred. Without being judgmental, make a note of what has changed.

The second stage of the neutral zone is the most uncomfortable transition stage. It is during this phase that physiological realignment takes place.

You may not know everything, but setting short-term goals at this stage can help you towards a new beginning and to overcome uncertainty. Keep an open mind and look forward to the beginning and the new possibilities it can create.

As you reach the third stage, some clarity will emerge. Consider this a new beginning. There could be new challenges, but there could also be small wins. Acknowledge these small wins.

How coaches and therapist can help navigate during the transitions

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”- Carl Jung.

In this process of what you choose to become, transition coaches can be a great help.

 Be it life transition, career transition or any change, coaches can provide a supportive and productive coaching relationship and help you meet your goals while holding you accountable and keeping you focused on the new beginning. They can help you learn life skills and self-care when facing challenging situations.

A transition coach can partner with you in helping you develop a new leadership skill while navigating the career change.

Transition coaching can help you regain your self-confidence. It can help you see the bigger purpose by supporting you in finding a career that best suits your intrinsic needs and leveraging your potential.

A transition coach or a therapist can help you in the following:

1.         Effective stress management if you are suffering from work-related or personal anxiety.

2.         Help you strategize and create action plans to achieve your goals and desired career.

3.         Overcoming fear and procrastination.

4.         Holding you accountable and keeping you focused while you take actions to meet your goals.

5.         Helping you align your role with your core values.

Victor Hugo has rightly said “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” This is true for all life and career transitions.

Dancing In The Rain: Unveiling The Beauty Of Monsoon

assorted colors umbrella
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

We eagerly await the monsoon season after enduring the scorching summer months. It brings a much-needed refreshing change and serves as a relief for humanity and the environment, which is undergoing a remarkable transformation.


The rains wash away the dust from the trees, causing the grass and foliage to turn a vibrant green. Everywhere, there is a palpable sense of positivity and relief in the air.


Beyond providing respite from the dryness of summer, the monsoon brings joy into our lives.
Having experienced the monsoon in various parts of India and at different stages of my life, I have cherished its beauty and significance.


During my childhood in Kutch, near the Great Rann of Kutch in western India, the monsoon season lasted only about four months in this arid desert region. Although the rainfall was limited, I eagerly awaited the heavy showers that allowed me to play in the rain and get drenched. The enchantment of a rainy day multiplied with the unmistakable aroma of wet soil.


One of my all-time favourite activities during the monsoon was making paper boats and setting them afloat in the rainwater collected in a small pond in our garden.


Another delightful aspect was the chai party organized by my mother for our neighbours and friends. The pleasant, cool weather during the rains provided the perfect excuse to relish hot samosas and pakoras with ginger tea.


During my college days in Mumbai, I experienced the monsoon in a different setting.
With dark clouds looming over the sea, waves crashing on the shores, and the cool sea breeze gently caressing my face, strolling along Marine Drive or walking on Chowpatty Beach was an experience that left a lasting impression. And who could resist the allure of hot tea and pakoras enjoyed on the beach?


While in college and later during my office days near Nariman Point, I made it a point to take a leisurely walk along the beach after office hours to savour the light showers and the soothing sea breeze.


For the past three decades that I have been in Bangalore, I have witnessed the awe-inspiring display of nature’s beauty during the monsoon season.


Places near Bangalore, such as Coorg in Karnataka, become mystical and almost unreal as rain cascades over the lush green coffee plantations. It feels as if one has stepped into a fairyland.

The flip side of the rain

Bangalore experiences monsoon twice a year, from June to September and then from October to December.

However, it is essential to acknowledge the flip side of the rain when the city comes to a standstill during heavy downpours. Unexpected torrential rains can cause extensive damage, including flooding and fallen trees.

“Rain didn’t make things messy. People did that all on their own.” — Barbara Delinsky.

I cannot agree more with what Barbara Delinsky has said. The quote suggests that rain is not responsible for creating a messy or chaotic environment. Instead, it implies that the messiness or disorder we may observe during rainy conditions results from human actions and behaviours.

Human behaviour, such as littering and neglecting proper waste management, contributes to the messiness associated with rainy weather.

Conclusion

Monsoons are genuinely a gift from nature to humanity, continuing to bring joy into our lives. The experience of rain immerses us in the beauty of nature.

Embracing the rain allows us to witness the enchanting magic that unfolds when water falls from the heavens, revealing the wonders of the natural world.

Rekindling Old Bonds: A Journey of Adventure and Friendship in Jaisalmer

What do you need more in life than good friends and great adventures?


College friends reunited in the golden city of Jaisalmer after four decades. We decided to embark on a journey of adventure and travel together to experience the sand dunes of Jaisalmer and make shared memories.

Our craving for Rangilo Rajasthan made us zero in on Jaisalmer. The excitement of meeting after such a long time was going to be an experience. Each one of us was looking forward to this reunion. It took us almost three months of planning, booking hotels, air and train tickets, planning the itinerary etc. The excitement was palpable. Technology made it possible for us to reconnect and plan this holiday. 

All of us met in Jaipur and travelled by road to Jaisalmer.

Jaipur to Jaisalmer, the entire drive was spent catching up about the years gone by. Each of us had a story to tell.

Where is Jaisalmer?

Jaisalmer is the golden city in the heart of the Thar desert. It is considered a poster city of Incredible India. With its rich cultural heritage, sand-coloured structures, and endless desert, it is worth a visit.

Standing in the heart of the Thar desert with its limitless expanse of sand, Jaisalmer reminds you of the Arabian night fables.

It is situated in the state of Rajasthan in northwest India, just a stone’s throw away from the Pakistan border.

Each of us came from a different city in India. We had all decided to meet in Jaipur and then travel by road to Jaisalmer. The entire drive was spent catching up about the years gone by. Each of us had a story to tell. We had hired a cab from Jaipur, which would take us to Jaisalmer, show us the sand dunes in and around the fort city and bring us back to Jaipur. Our stay in Jaisalmer was for two nights and in Jaipur for one night.

The journey from Jaipur to Jaisalmer

“There is an unspoken bond you create with the friends you travel with.” – Kristen Sarah.

The distance from Jaipur to Jaisalmer is about 580 kms. It took us about 5 hours, with a few coffee and tea breaks. It would be a crime to travel on a highway without stopping over and enjoying a cup of dhaba chai. Sipping tea on the road reminded us of some of the best times during college trips. Travelling together, we created some beautiful memories.

The road is good, and since the driver was from the same area, he knew some of the less crowded routes. We passed through several small villages where we could see tribal ladies dressed in their colourful attires.

We reached Jaisalmer after sunset. Generally, the deserts get cooler at night. We checked into Hotel Lalgarh, where a hot dinner was waiting for us. After about eight hours on the road, the sight of hot food and its aroma was very inviting. We could feel the cool breeze as we attacked the hot and spicy Rajasthani food in the hotel’s rooftop restaurant.

Jaisalmer Fort was in the background, and the fort was lighted, which provided a spectacular view from the terrace. We were tired and hungry, but we had so much to catch up on that none of us were willing to retire for the night. 

The Golden Fort is one of the largest living forts in the world. It stands amidst the sandy expanse of Trikula Hill. It is a UNESCO world heritage site.

Exploring Jaisalmer 

Jaisalmer is also called the “The Golden City”, because it stands on a ridge of yellow sandstone. Jaisalmer Fort has a royal palace and Jain temples. Many famous Indian movies have been filmed in this desert city.  

Our first destination was the fort, situated on the Meru hill the following day. It is also called the Sonar Kila because it is of yellow stone. The fort was visible from our hotel terrace. The golden glow during sunrise was spectacular. The fort has impressive architecture and provides a glimpse of the bygone era. It is a UNESCO World Heritage site. One-fourth of the city’s population still resides in the fort. It is one of the few living forts in the world.

 You cannot take your cars inside the fort since it has very narrow lanes, through which only two or three-wheelers can move, or you have to walk, so we had to park our car outside the fort area.

One of the main attractions inside the fort was the “battle gun”, which is at the top of the fort. The Jaisalmer maharajas used it to defend themselves during the war. From this place at the top, you can see the whole city. You feel like sitting there for a long.

It took us a couple of hours to see the entire fort and visit the gem and jewellery shops and Jain temples in the fort. There are hotels, homestays and restaurants inside the fort area, which gives you a local feel. Since it was lunchtime, we decided to have lunch with some locals residing in the fort. They serve home-cooked authentic Rajasthani cuisine. Rajasthani food is spicy, and the food style of this desert city and the entire state is affected by the natural topography. It is known for its spicy curries and delicious sweets. Because it is a desert, there is a lack of leafy green vegetables. Instead locals use lentils, pulses, legumes, milk, curd, ghee and buttermilk. You cannot miss the famous dalbati (Rajasthani dish) while in Jaisalmer. 

During lunch, the locals shared fascinating stories and traditions of the local communities.

In the evening, we decided to come back to the market square outside the fort entrance to check out handicrafts, souvenirs, and exquisite silver jewellery. Before visiting the market square, we decide to head to Gadisar Lake. This is an artificial lake to sustain and provide water for the whole town.

Boating here is one of the main attractions. Near the Gadisar lake, several photographers offered to provide us with Rajasthani dresses and click pictures. All of us took turns dressing up and getting photographed. It was an excellent opportunity to create memories to remind us of our trip.  

The next biggest attraction was the haveli. On the second day morning, we visited the havelis. It is a historical site. Beautiful and intricate carvings adorn the windows and balconies of Patwon Ki Haveli. It is a cluster of five small havelis. Inside the haveli, there is a museum where you can see an artefact collection that gives you a glimpse of the culture of the bygone era. Since photography is allowed inside the haveli, we decided to pose for beautiful pictures. We wandered through the haveli’s since every nook and corner had something interesting to see.

After a short break, we were looking forward to visiting the SAM sand dunes, camel rides and campfires with music and folk dances. 

On our way to the Sam sand dunes, we stopped over to visit the haunted village of Kuldhara. Set 200 years ago, the Paliwal Brahmin community vanished overnight, leaving behind a ghost village to narrate the tale. We stepped inside some of the abandoned homes.

From the terrace of some of these houses, you can get a glimpse of the abandoned village. The whole village wears a desolate look. Since the sun was about to set, we decided to move on as it was getting quite eerie. Many interesting stories float around this place about the haunted village.  

We spent a long time enjoying the vast expanse of sand, walking, and taking turns on camel rides. Our group decided to take a camel cart ride to reach the sunset point. The sunset is spectacular.

There is nothing like watching a beautiful sunset to end a day. It had started getting dark as we made our way back to the main road leading us to Jaisalmer. After the mesmerizing sunset, we were looking forward to the desert camp to enjoy the campfire, music and local folk dance show by the local community.

“Drifting across the vast space, silent except for wind and footsteps, I felt uncluttered and unhurried for the first time in a while, already on desert time.” 

– Rebecca Solnit

Wrapping up the fun- travelling back through Pushkar and Ajmer

After two eventful days in Jaisalmer, we started our return journey to Jaipur. We decided to travel through Pushkar and Ajmer on our way back to Jaipur. We were keen to visit the temple town of Pushkar. 

We reached Pushkar around 4 pm and headed straight to the temple area. Snuggled in the lap of Aravalli hills and near the serene Pushkar lake is the Brahma temple. Temples and 52 ghats surround the lake. It is believed that if a person takes a dip in the lake on Karthik Purnima, it clears one from all sins and cures all skin diseases. 

After spending some time window shopping in the shops near the temple and feasting on hot chai and some snacks, we started for Jaipur. 

We reached Jaipur at about 9 pm and headed straight for dinner. Since all of us had early morning flights to catch and head home, we decided to call it a day. Promising to meet again on our next trip, we bid goodbyes. We created new invaluable memories from this trip.

Further Information

The nearest airport for Jaisalmer in Jodhpur. You can drive from Jaipur to Jaisalmer. The distance is about 580Kms. Jaisalmer is also well connected by rail with New Delhi.

Jaisalmer has many good hotels to suit every budget.

For additional information on Jaisalmer, you can refer to the guide at https://www.kayak.co.in/Jaisalmer.44485.guide.

A Beacon of Hope in an Uncertain World

Hope and Kindness
Becon of Hope and Kindness

In today’s tumultuous world, the news bombards us with stories of unkind acts and brutality, questioning humanity’s capacity for love and compassion. However, amidst the chaos, there are still shining examples of Kindness that inspire us to be better.


The 14th Dalai Lama draws attention to the remarkable social responsibility exhibited by small insects like bees. Their cooperative nature and survival instincts showcase a level of unity and harmony that often surpasses human behaviour.


Humans, with our intelligence and capacity for love, should be capable of more extraordinary Kindness, but we sometimes fall short. Nevertheless, it is crucial to recognize the potential Kindness holds in fostering positive connections and forming lasting relationships.

A Personal Encounter with Kindness

A heartwarming incident during my 10th-grade trip to Jammu and Kashmir exemplified the beauty of Kindness. In an unfamiliar city, where we were supposed to be received by a friend’s acquaintance, we faced a disheartening situation due to miscommunication. However, a kind stranger noticed our plight and offered us shelter for the night. His generosity and compassion toward strangers left an indelible mark on me, proving that the world still has kind souls ready to lend a helping hand.

Kindness: A Miracle in Disguise:

Miracles aren’t always grand gestures; sometimes, they come in the form of kind-hearted strangers. One hot summer day, I found myself in a desperate situation after tripping and falling on a busy road. The Kindness of two young girls in the crowd was my saving grace. They selflessly attended to my wounds, safeguarded my belongings, and supported me back to safety. Their compassionate actions reminded me that even in times of distress, there are people willing to go above and beyond for someone they’ve never met before.

Kindness as a Motive

As Eric Hoffer wisely said, “Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind.” In a world that often feels indifferent and harsh, choosing Kindness can set off a chain reaction of goodwill. Remembering that we possess the power to shape the world through actions is essential.

Conclusion

In a world filled with uncertainty and negative news, acts of Kindness become beacons of hope, reminding us that humanity still holds the potential for compassion and love. Let us all strive to be like those small bees, working together to create a better world based on cooperation, understanding, and Kindness. No matter how small, each act of Kindness contributes to the collective effort of building a more empathetic and harmonious society. So, let us be inspired by the examples of Kindness we encounter and be the change we wish to see in the world.

Whispers Of Happiness-Discovering Pure Bliss In A Cooling Breeze

woman sitting under a tree and reading a book
Photo by Tuấn Kiệt Jr. on Pexels.com

“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing and mojito in your hand.”- Bar Refael

The above quote took me back to my cherished childhood memories. It evoked a sense of nostalgia as the gentle breeze whispered tales of the past.


When I recollect the perfect summer day during my childhood, I am transported to a time when the sun illuminated the sky, the cool breeze brushed against my skin, and a book found solace in my hands instead of a mojito.


During those blissful years, my father was stationed in Kutch, Gujarat, near the enchanting Rann of Kutch. Our house was in the Central Government Colony within the Kandla Port Trust township.
Our house had a vast garden and big neem trees in our backyard.


During summer, when I wanted to be alone and escape from my mom’s constant nagging to complete my homework, I sought refuge beneath the comforting shade of a colossal neem tree.


Nestling myself amidst its leafy sanctuary, I would lose myself in the captivating realms of storybooks.
I was very fond of reading and, after lunch, would always love to escape and take refuge under the tree with my book.


Occasionally, I completed my homework beneath its protective branches, basking in the tranquil ambience.


The cool breeze would be so soothing. Its soothing touch sometimes lulled me into a peaceful slumber.
Summers in Kutch are excruciatingly hot and humid, with temperatures reaching as high as 48 degrees Celsius and the heat scorching.


Under the tree, the shade was delightfully cool and refreshing, and no glare to hurt my eyes.The gentle rustling of leaves, the occasional chirping of birds, and the distant hum of nature’s chorus would form a soothing backdrop.


The fragrance of the Neem leaves added another layer to the experience, infusing the air with its distinct aroma, known for its refreshing and rejuvenating qualities.


The breeze that blows through a neem tree(Azadirachta indica) is supposed to be healthy. Neem has many good medicinal properties.


As I reflect upon those precious moments spent under the neem tree’s warm embrace, I am reminded of the simple joys of childhood.

Simple Joys Of Childhood

Some simple joys that I recollect include:

  • Running barefoot through the grass lawns ,feeling the tickling blades beneath my feet. I would love chasing the colourful butterflies.
  • Sitting under the neem tree on a hot sunny day with the cool breeze blowing, savoring the sweetness of ice-cream , each lick a moment of pure delight.
  • During playtime, giggling uncontrollably during hide and seek, the thrill of being found and finding others.
  • Planting seeds in the garden along with mom and watching them grow, feeling a sense of accomplishment and wonder.

Childhood is filled with these simple joys where the world seems full of magic and endless possibilities.