Month: May 2024

The Working Mother’s Dilemma: Striking a Balance

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Photo by Yan Krukau on Pexel.

Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed with feelings of guilt as a mother, questioning whether you’re doing enough for your children or if you’re falling short in some way? Ask any career woman with kids; the answer would be a resounding YES.

Let’s delve into this common struggle with personal anecdotes and insights.

Prioritizing Ambition Post-Childbirth

As women, we marry and have children, but does that mean we give up our jobs and compromise on our ambition to utilize our skills? Our priorities change, no doubt, after childbirth, but our commitment to our profession and ourselves should not be impacted.

As women, we often face the dilemma of balancing motherhood with career aspirations. Do we give up our jobs and compromise on our ambition to raise a family?

My personal journey speaks volumes to this question.

Transitioning to Motherhood

When my son was born, my husband’s job transfer to New Delhi prompted a significant life change. I resigned from my job in Mumbai and joined my husband in New Delhi.

After resigning from my job in Mumbai, I prioritized settling into our new environment and cherishing precious moments with my newborn.

I did not look for a job for the first six months since I needed that time to settle down. I also wanted to spend time with my baby and watch him grow.

Seeking Support and Returning to Work

After six months, I resumed my career search, supported by my parents, who provided invaluable assistance until we found suitable childcare.

I requested my parents’ assistance, and they arrived and stayed with us until we discovered a suitable daycare for my son.

Even after we found a daycare, my parents stayed with us until my son became accustomed to attending the daycare. Children enjoy spending time and playing with other kids, and my son relished going to the daycare.

The daycare owner was a very kind-hearted lady who only had five kids to look after, and she would make sure they were looked after well. In fact, I would call her about four or five times in the day to inquire about my son. Did he eat his food, drink his milk, and play well? I would ask her several questions, and she would patiently respond.

Creative Solutions for Childcare

Navigating various relocations, I devised innovative solutions to ensure my son’s well-being while pursuing my career. From trusted daycare’s to empowering him with responsibilities at home, each strategy contributed to his growth and independence.

My son continued with daycare while in elementary school, and my parents helped me when I was transferred to Pune. When we moved to Bangalore, my son was still in elementary school, and he refused to go to a daycare.

So, I gave him a set of our home keys, which I had put in a small neck chain, and our domestic help would pick him up when his school bus came to drop him off.

She would bring him home, help him unlock the door and get in, help him change clothes, serve him milk and snacks, and accompany him to the playground in our building to play with his friends.

Once I returned from work, she would leave for the day. This continued until he was in intermediate school, after which he had learnt to be independent and responsible. He would come home from school, unlock the house, serve himself lunch, do his homework, and wait for us to return from the office, after which he would eagerly wait to go and play.

Involving Children in Career Journey

There were times when he would accompany me when I travelled for work. Once I recollect, I had to travel to Singapore for a business meeting. Since it was summer holidays, my son travelled with me.

He enjoyed watching TV in his hotel room, swimming in the hotel pool, and reading books while I went to my meetings. In the evenings, I would take him out for sightseeing.

There were instances when I would take him to my office, show him where I work, share stories about my work and achievements, and increase his curiosity.

Incorporating my son into my professional life fostered his curiosity and understanding of my commitments. Whether travelling together or visiting my workplace, these experiences enriched his perspective and strengthened our bond.

Overcoming Mom Guilt

Despite moments of guilt, I persevered, recognizing that prioritizing my career didn’t diminish my dedication as a mother. Seeking support, maintaining open communication, and staying involved in my son’s life were crucial in overcoming these challenges.

When I look back and think about his upbringing, I can see that he has developed himself into a very responsible and disciplined individual. He is proud of his mom and grateful for making him accountable and independent at a young age. He has observed me balancing my family and professional responsibilities and understood its importance.

While I continued feeling guilty and had challenging moments when he was sick, I did not compromise and give up my job. I am grateful to my husband, parents, and neighbours, who supported me and ensured that my son’s upbringing did not suffer because of my ambition.

One thing that I learned was to ask for support. Many times, women don’t ask for help and, therefore, suffer. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. If you have to follow your passion and do something in life for yourself, then you have to build a good support system.

Conclusion

Building a solid support system, practicing self-care, effectively managing time, and transparent communication are essential to balancing motherhood and career.

Remember, sacrificing your career isn’t the answer; it’s about creating a fulfilling life for yourself and your family. Let’s embrace the challenges, defy guilt, and thrive as empowered mothers and professionals.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day today, we must recognize the significance of articles like these for all working mothers. Our journey is marked by resilience, determination, and unwavering love for our families.

 Let this be a reminder that our struggles and triumphs are shared experiences, and together, we empower each other to thrive in both our professional and maternal roles.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the incredible mothers out there!!

The Interplay of Duty, Responsibility, and Consciousness

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Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexel.

Have you ever pondered the profound distinction between merely fulfilling your duties and wholeheartedly embracing the Responsibility that comes with them?

The Bhagavad Gita’s Wisdom on Duty and Responsibility

In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna imparts profound advice to Arjuna, urging him to fulfill his duty as a warrior. Arjuna, initially hesitant to engage in the Mahabharat war, grapples with the conflict of harming his relatives. Arjuna was struggling with moral issues. Krishna convinces Arjuna that as a warrior, it is his duty to fight a righteous war, even if the consequences of the war could be painful, and enlightens him about distinguishing between Responsibility and duty.

Duty is an obligation and could be related to an individual’s role or occupation. It also has a legal and moral binding. In contrast, Responsibility is an option that is either assumed, voluntarily accepted, or promised by an individual and is inherent to his/her job or role. If the individual accepts Responsibility, the person has to be accountable for completing the work.

Duty in Professional Life

As professionals, we are tethered to the duties inherent in our jobs. These duties, essential to our roles, require unwavering commitment — the outcomes of our work hinge on the dedication we bring to our duties. Conversely, Responsibility, though not binding, entails personal accountability for the results, transcending mere duty.

If we don’t do our duty, we can be punished for not doing it. But Responsibility cannot be commanded; therefore, one cannot be punished if one refuses to take Responsibility.

Regrettably, some employees perform their duties without genuine commitment, shirking Responsibility and offering excuses for their failures. The divergence between duty and Responsibility becomes evident in their actions.

Fulfilling responsibilities goes beyond mere obligations; it resonates deeply with our consciousness. When we actively take on responsibilities, we honor external commitments and nurture an internal sense of accountability and moral duty.

Let’s explore how assuming responsibilities contributes to a more conscientious and purposeful life.

Personal Narratives Illustrating the Dichotomy

1. A Dedicated Team Leader’s Initiative

In my previous workplace, a skilled Team Leader went beyond the call of duty. While software testing was his primary Responsibility, he voluntarily took on the Responsibility of training his team in automated testing. This initiative, not obligatory but driven by personal accountability, significantly enhanced the team’s performance.

2. A Doctor’s Noble Responsibility

 My father, a doctor ,exemplified the distinction between duty and responsibility.While prescribing medicines to patients was his duty, he also assumed the Responsibility of providing free medicines to those who couldn’t afford them. His commitment extended beyond duty, ensuring the well-being of his patients.

3. Mother with professional duty and children’s responsibilities

My neighbor Sara, a dedicated executive with a company, works from home. At 2 pm, her 3-year-old son returns from his play school and climbs into Sara’s lap, seeking the warmth of her embrace. In this tender moment, the distinction between duty and Responsibility unfolded. Sara’s duty as an executive was clear — meeting deadlines, handling projects, and contributing to her team’s success. Yet, as her child nestled in her arms, a different dimension emerged — the Responsibility of being a caring and present mother.

The Gita’s Teachings on Results and Commitment

The Bhagavad Gita emphasizes performing one’s duty with unwavering commitment, irrespective of the results. While duty performed with dedication and Responsibility typically yields positive outcomes, instances of unexpected results should not deter one’s commitment to the task at hand.

Nurturing a Responsible Consciousness

Striking a balance between duty and Responsibility is paramount in life. Merely fulfilling duties while neglecting responsibilities is insufficient. The Gita teaches us to nurture a responsible consciousness, remaining committed to our causes and duties.

Conclusion: Embracing Duty and Responsibility

The Bhagavad Gita is a timeless guide, teaching us to embrace our duties with commitment and shoulder responsibilities with accountability. Combining duty and responsibility in life makes for a meaningful and purpose-driven journey.