India recently celebrated the Festival of Lights, Diwali, a time when households embrace the tradition of adorning their entrances with intricate patterns known as Rangoli. The term “Rangoli” originates from the Sanskrit word “Rangavalli,” meaning an array of colours.
Rangoli holds a special significance in Hindu households, serving the dual purpose of inviting the Goddess Lakshmi, the deity of wealth, through visually pleasing patterns and welcoming guests. This tradition extends beyond Diwali and is observed during festivals such as Pongal and Onam.
What is Rangoli?
Traditionally, Rangoli is an art of floor decoration symbolizing a household’s happiness, positivity, and vibrancy. This practice has transcended residential spaces in contemporary times, gracing the entrances of businesses and offices during diverse festivals.
Mothers in India pass down the art of Rangoli to their daughters, creating a cultural continuity. I learned this art form from my grandmother and mother, both accomplished artists. My grandmother’s daily ritual of meticulously creating Rangoli at the crack of dawn left an indelible impression. The welcoming ambience, the fragrance of jasmine flowers, and the aroma of morning coffee remain etched in my memory.
My grandmother’s and my mothers’s rangoli, both at the entrance and in the pooja rooms, have always been a visual treat and left me in awe. My daughter-in-law is also an expert in this art form. Her latest rangoli design during this Diwali is in the picture below.
Regional Variations
Rangoli exhibits diverse regional variations across India. Known as Kolam in South India, Mandana in Rajasthan, Alpana in West Bengal, Chowk Purana in Uttar Pradesh, Aripan in Bihar (created using rice flour and paste), and Maharashtra’s floor-drawn designs showcase the rich tapestry of cultural diversity.
Evolution of Rangoli Designs
Scientifically, Rangoli holds significance as geometric patterns, particularly curved ones created by connecting dots, positively impact the environment. These patterns symbolize the universe’s infinite nature and echo sound wave harmonics, contributing to mental well-being.
Inspired by nature, Rangoli designs evoke joy and positivity, ranging from geometric shapes to floral patterns and depictions of Hindu deities. The unbroken lines in these designs serve a protective function, preventing the intrusion of evil spirits.
Worldwide Symbolism
Symmetry in Rangoli designs is universally considered a symbol of prosperity, luck, and growth across religions. It is also believed to be a harbinger of good fortune.
Conclusion
Rangoli is a simple and traditional art form with deep cultural roots. Let every festival inspire us to practice this beautiful tradition, offering a pause in our hectic lifestyles and fostering focus. As we draw traditional Rangolis, we connect with a heritage that transcends generations, embodying joy, positivity, and the spirit of celebration.
My hibiscus plant has a unique and fascinating story. For several years, I’ve been tending to a hibiscus plant on my balcony garden. What makes this plant so special is its vibrant, multicoloured flowers.
It has consistently bloomed for almost a decade, bringing me immense joy and happiness.
However, six months ago, my beloved hibiscus plant suddenly stopped flowering and begain to wither, appearing sickly. I was determined to revive it and tried everything I could think of.
I repotted it into a larger container, carefully untangled the knotted roots, changed the soil, and added essential nutrients. I patiently waited, hoping that my efforts would pay off, but to my disappointment, the hibiscus showed no signs of rejuvenation.
It continued to look sad and feeble, and I had begun to believe it might have reached the end of its life. I reluctantly decided to discard the plant and purchase a new one.
However, life had other plans. Due to my upcoming travel, I got caught up with preparations and completely forgot about the plant. In my absence ,my domestic help faithfully watered the hibiscus, along with the rest of my balcony garden.
Upon my return, I was pleasantly surprised to notice a tiny, vibrant green sprig emerging from the plant. Over the next few weeks, I observed the growth of new leaves.
To my absolute delight, this morning, as I strolled onto my balcony, I was greeted by the enchanting sight of a beautiful pink hibiscus flower in full bloom. I cannot express the overwhelming happiness I felt upon seeing this unexpected burst of life and colour.
Lesson Learnt
This experience taught me a valuable lesson.
I didn’t give up on my hibiscus plant; I continued to nurture it, even when all hope seemed lost.
This is a testament to the enduring friendship between me and the plant over the years.
As George Washington wisely noted, ” True friendship is a plant of slow growth,” this hibiscus plant exemplifies the beauty of perseverance and patience in nurturing such relationships.
Do I feel off balance today, or is something throwing me off? This is a question I frequently pose to myself, pondering what actions I can take to regain my equilibrium.
It has become a recurring occurrence, happening nearly three times a week, where I am in a state of imbalance.
As Dolly Parton astutely remarked, “Never become so absorbed in the pursuit of a livelihood that you neglect the creation of a life.”
Balance is a fundamental principle of life. However, in today’s ever-changing, volatile, and chaotic world, achieving this balance poses a significant challenge.
My typical routine involves planning my day the night before, yet more often than not, I find myself deviating from these plans. Last-minute requests for urgent work, unexpected errands, or emergencies constantly arise, disrupting my equilibrium.
In our environment, there is a prevailing sense of unrest and disturbance. While technology has brought the world closer together and eliminated boundaries, it has also eroded our core human values.
Intense competition, the never-ending pursuit of wealth and fame, and the desire for a life of comfort, all compounded by the pressure to portray an idealized self on social media, have contributed to the imbalance in our personal lives.
Research indicates that stress-ridden work environments, financial instability, increasing job insecurity, rapid urbanization, a decline in physical activity, and sedentary behaviours are all culprits behind significant health issues.
Conceiving Our Life as a Four-Wheeled Vehicle
Recently, as I prepared for a long road trip, I took my car to the garage for servicing. The mechanic strongly recommended wheel balancing, given the upcoming journey. He advised me to ensure the wheels were aligned correctly to minimize unexpected road bumps.
This experience made me contemplate how our lives can be likened to a four-wheeled vehicle.
When we visualize our lives as cars, we recognize the need for equilibrium on all four wheels. These four wheels represent Personal Life, Relationships, Work Life, and Social Contributions. Striking the right balance between these aspects can undoubtedly lead to a smoother and more enjoyable journey.
However, it is vital to acknowledge that, akin to a car, life may still encounter unanticipated bumps and curves. Being prepared, fostering resilience, and adapting when necessary are crucial for navigating such challenges effectively.
Key Points on Leading a Balanced Life as suggested by Deepak Chopra.
Deepak Chopra, a well-known author and speaker on holistic health and wellness, has provided numerous suggestions for leading a balanced life. While his recommendations encompass a wide range of topics, here are some key points that he has emphasized:
Mindfulness and Meditation: Deepak Chopra often stresses the importance of mindfulness and meditation as tools for reducing stress, increasing self-awareness, and promoting mental clarity. Regular meditation practices help in achieving balance.
Healthy Eating: He advocates for a balanced and nourishing diet. Consuming whole foods, emphasizing fruits and vegetables, and avoiding processed or unhealthy foods are key aspects of leading a balanced life.
Regular Exercise: Incorporating physical activity into your daily routine is crucial for maintaining physical health and mental well-being. Regular exercise can help manage stress, improve mood, and enhance overall vitality.
Stress Management: Deepak Chopra emphasizes the need to manage stress effectively. Techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, and mindfulness can help reduce stress levels.
Quality Sleep: Prioritizing sleep is vital for physical and mental health. He often recommends establishing healthy sleep routines and adequate rest to support overall balance.
Emotional Wellbeing: Nurturing emotional well-being is a significant component of leading a balanced life. This may include expressing emotions, fostering positive relationships, and engaging in joyful activities.
Purpose and Meaning: Finding purpose and meaning in life can contribute to a sense of balance and fulfillment. Deepak Chopra encourages individuals to explore their passions, interests, and values to lead a more purposeful life.
Spiritual Growth: Deepak Chopra often discusses the importance of spiritual growth to connect with one’s inner self and promote a sense of balance and harmony.
Holistic Health: He emphasizes the holistic nature of health, where the mind, body, and spirit are interconnected. Addressing all aspects of health is essential for overall balance.
Positive Affirmations and Intentions: Deepak Chopra recommends using positive affirmations and setting clear intentions to align your thoughts and actions with your goals and values.
Community and Social Connections: Building and maintaining supportive relationships and connections with others is an essential part of leading a balanced life.
Self-Care: Prioritizing self-care is critical. Taking time for relaxation, self-reflection, and personal growth can contribute to overall well-being.
Individual needs and circumstances can vary, so it’s valuable to explore and adapt these principles to your own life to create a personalized path toward balance and well-being.
“What motivates you to start your day?” I often pose this question to my coaching clients, and the responses I receive can be truly inspiring and filled with passion.
The Japanese have a term for identifying this morning motivation: “Ikigai.” It encompasses why a person gets up in the morning and the driving force behind their actions.
Confucius once said, “If you do a job that you really love, it won’t feel like work, but rather a source of enjoyment.” This phenomenon occurs when one lives with passion, intensity, and a commitment to fulfilling their deepest desire.
Discovering Your Life’s Purpose
Identifying your life’s purpose can be a challenging quest. However, when you’ve pinpointed your likes and passions, it becomes easier to recognize your purpose. Your individual values and passions guide you towards your personal life goals and help you stride purposefully forward.
For me, a career aimed at improving the lives of others has always been my primary goal. My initial aspiration was to have a meaningful career. To achieve this, I dedicated myself to acquiring new skills and knowledge that made me adaptable to various work environments and domains.
Learning should never cease, and one should strive to be a lifelong learner.
Building Fulfilling Relationships
Fostering healthy and reciprocal relationships enables effective communication with others, fostering a better understanding. As a coach and mentor, I treat individuals in a way that inspires and respects them.
Through my experiences and lessons learned, I openly share my failures, successes, and life journey with the people I mentor.
Nature and Art: A Second Purpose
My love for nature and art enriches my life and serves my second purpose.
Age Is Just A Number
Age should never limit your pursuit of your passions. I recently had a conversation with my 89-year-old cousin, who continues to pursue her passion for theatre, acting in films, and writing stories for magazines. At the age of 85, she even decided to take music lessons.
My 94-year-old mother is another inspiring example. She remains dedicated to her passion for knitting, crafting items for underprivileged children and donating to NGOs that support orphans. These remarkable women have set an extraordinary example, proving that age should never hinder your dreams. Life offers rare opportunities to follow your passions, and you should seize them.
Closing Thoughts
Have you ever noticed how your body feels when you engage in activities you are passionate about? It’s a remarkable sensation, filled with immense joy, relaxation, a natural high, and a deep commitment to the task at hand.
Given my purpose in life to help others, I initially provided a lot of pro-bono coaching and mentoring to help individuals progress in their personal and professional lives. Volunteering in this way allowed me to gain valuable experience. Collaborating with individuals from various industries also gave me insights into how I could add value and assist others.
In the wise words of David Cuschieri, “Love what you do and do what you love. Passion is the key that opens the door to joy and abundance.”
“In every walk with nature, one receives far more than they seek.” – John Muir.
I couldn’t agree more with John Muir. A few years ago, I was in Berlin in the early spring. I had arrived in Berlin on a Sunday morning, feeling sluggish and jet-lagged. To shake off the weariness, I decided to step outside and breathe in some fresh air, and where better to do that than the Tiergarten, which was conveniently close to where I was staying?
The Tiergarten worked wonders for my mood. As John Lubbock aptly put it, “Fresh air is as beneficial for the mind as it is for the body. Nature always seems to be trying to communicate with us, as if she holds some great secret. And indeed, she does.”
Tiergarten-Berlin .Photo Credit-Author
During that early spring morning, the Tiergarten transformed into a breathtaking landscape of pinks, oranges, and greens, with fallen petals creating a delicate carpet on the ground.
It was a delightful experience to take a stroll through the park, absorbing the harmonious blend of colours and the sheer beauty of it all.
This park boasts magnificent trees, serene lakes, and a profusion of flowers.
Tiergarten Berlin. Photo Credit-Author
It’s so vast that one could quickly lose their way; I certainly didn’t realize its immense size when I embarked on my walk.
The Tiergarten is the largest park in Berlin. Immersing myself in the park’s flora and fauna filled me with an overwhelming sense of peace and tranquillity.
Lakes in Tier Garten -Berlin. Photo Credit-Author
That Sunday morning in Berlin started with happiness for me, much like Mary Oliver’s words in
“Hello, sun in my face. Hello, you who made the morning and spread it over the fields… Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness.”
This post was first published in Reciprocal Publication of Medium.
Life is filled with moments of doubt and uncertainty, but powerful quotes have the ability to keep us on track.
Motivational quotes have always inspired me on my journey, enabling me to overcome challenges and achieve my dreams.
Lesson 1: Determination
“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” -Collin Powell.
This lesson has resonated with me throughout my personal and professional life. I’ve encountered numerous challenges during my college days and throughout my career.
However, the enduring wisdom imparted to me by my father was the importance of unwavering focus and determination.
Lesson 2: Experience
“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment”-Rita Mae Brown
This insight from Rita Mae Brown has guided my approach to failure.
Instead of becoming demotivated by setbacks, I’ve been taught to view them as opportunities for growth and learning. Experience serves as a valuable source of wisdom, offering invaluable life lessons, personal growth, and self-awareness.
Lesson 3: Mindset
“Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. Most of all, other people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.”-Jeffrey Gitomer
Cultivating a growth mindset is essential for overcoming life’s challenges and preventing our minds from becoming roadblocks.
“There is only one way to succeed in anything and that is to give it everything.”-Vince Lombardi.
Vince Lombardi’s words further emphasize the idea that nothing worthwhile comes easily, highlighting the necessity of determination and effort in turning dreams into reality.
Lesson 4: Questions
“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”-Voltaire
Voltaire’s perspective compels us to be grateful. Instead of dwelling on negative questions like “why me,”? it’s important to cultivate gratitude for what we have – the ability to breathe, walk, and think for ourselves.
Lesson 5: Failure
“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”-Winston Churchill.
My father instilled in me the belief that hard work and perseverance are within our control, and with enough of both, success becomes inevitable.
These five inspirational quotes continue to shape my life, reminding me of the importance of determination, experience, mindset, thoughtful questions, and the courage to persevere in the face of failure. They serve as guiding beacons on my journey towards personal growth and success.
Who doesn’t want to feel like a kid again? I would love to be one!! There is something magical about it.
I still love the merry-go-round and don’t hesitate to ride one whenever the opportunity presents itself.
“Life is a merry-go-round ride”, reminds me of the childhood rhyme we all grew up singing in our kindergarten,
“Ring a ring, a rosie
A pocketful of posies
A-tishoo! a-tishoo!
We all fall down.”
Isn’t Life somewhat similar?
Life is a roller coaster, with many highs and lows and curves. We get tossed around, but things level out in the end, and life returns to normal until the next ride.
I can relate to this with my example. When I passed my final year of engineering and received a job offer letter from a well-known engineering company in Pune, I was full of energy and optimism and felt like I was on top of the world.
I started my career excitedly and enthusiastically, like a child hopping onto a merry-go-round.
Like the horses on the merry-go-round that goes up and down, repeating the same motion, my career also experienced success, achievements, failures, setbacks and disappointments. And this continued throughout my career of three decades and more.
Each time I changed jobs, I went through this same cycle. Initially, everything in the new job is exciting, and then slowly, the monotony sets in.
I had to take on further risks, grab new opportunities, work on new initiatives and keep moving. Despite the challenges, I kept pushing forward and finding new ways to develop and grow professionally.
After spending three decades and more in the industry, reflecting on my career journey, I realised that despite the ups and downs, it was all worth it.
I feel grateful for the experiences, the people I met along the way and the lessons I learned.
What I experienced in my career is also what we experience in all aspects of our lives.
Life is Fleeting
The phrase, Life is a merry-go-round also suggests that life is fleeting and we should enjoy the ride while we can.
The fragility of life is daunting, and it inspires us to live in the present and enjoy and appreciate every moment we have.
The COVID-19 pandemic brought home the reality that Life is fleeting.
I lost some good friends who were hale and hearty a few days before they became seriously ill, had to be admitted to the hospital, and succumbed to the disease. It reminded me of the fragility and unpredictability of Life.
It is easy to get caught up in the daily grind of Life. Life can change instantly; therefore, we need to cherish every moment with our loved ones.
Time passes quickly, and I, therefore, adopt some fundamental ways to embrace the fleeting nature of Life,
Appreciating people and letting them know how much I love and care for them helps me cherish every moment I spend with them. Life is short, and we never know when our loved ones will be taken away from us. My mom has been diagnosed with late-onset dementia. I spend time with her and look at old photos with her. She remembers something, and we talk about it. When she is in a good mood, I ask her for recipes, and she tells me whatever she remembers. I spend time every evening watching television with her. My friends come and meet her every evening and hug her.
Pursue my passions even amid all uncertainties. I continue spending time consulting, writing and gardening even though a large part of my day is spent in elder care activities.
I have started maintaining a gratitude journal and spending time every evening reflecting and writing about things I am grateful for. I write about all things that made me smile during the day.
In conclusion, I have learnt to make the most of every moment. Life is a precious gift, and better make it meaningful.
“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” – Haruki Murakami
This insightful quote resonates with ancient Buddhist wisdom and holds a profound truth. I’ve encountered its wisdom in my personal journey, and today, I witness its relevance when working with young leaders and individuals within the companies I consult for.
There is a relationship between pain and happiness. Be it in personal life or professional life.
My aspiration to become an engineer after graduating from school was fraught with challenges. Securing admission to my preferred college was an arduous endeavour, and even after achieving that milestone, I had to exert immense effort to enrol in the engineering branch of my choice.
My father, a source of enduring wisdom, instilled in me the belief that success doesn’t come easily. He often cited Winston Churchill’s words, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” This lesson has remained my guiding light throughout my life.
Many young people today dream of a thriving corporate career, a prestigious corner office, financial prosperity, and a harmonious work-life balance. However, they often underestimate the demanding journey that leads to such achievements. Failure to anticipate and address the challenges on this path can result in disappointment and depression.
Success and happiness in the professional realm necessitate a willingness to grapple with adversity, job uncertainties, setbacks, rejections, and, at times, toxic work environments or lengthy commutes. The rewards and contentment we seek are intrinsically connected to the difficulties we endure—a truth that cannot be ignored.
It’s akin to taking bitter medicine; only by doing so can we alleviate suffering and find the rewards we seek.
The Oak Tree In The Garden- Embracing Pain
Allow me to share a Zen story that underscores the importance of embracing suffering as an integral facet of life:
In a lush garden filled with an array of trees, flowers, and plants, a towering oak tree stood at the centre, exuding strength and grandeur. Many admired this oak tree for its imposing presence.
One day, a traveller passing through the garden took notice of the oak tree and approached it. He exclaimed, “You are undeniably a magnificent tree, standing tall and proud. You must be the happiest tree in this entire garden.”
The oak tree humbly responded, “I appreciate your kind words, but my happiness isn’t solely derived from my stature and strength. Over the course of my long existence, I’ve weathered countless storms, fierce winds, and harsh winters. I’ve endured the pain of broken branches, falling leaves, and the weight of snow and ice on my limbs. These very experiences have molded me into the tree you see before you.”
Perplexed, the traveller inquired, “But how can you claim to be happy after enduring so much suffering?”
The oak tree replied, “It is through these storms and struggles that I have grown stronger, developing deeper roots. It is through pain that I’ve acquired resilience. It is amidst the changing seasons that I’ve found peace and acceptance. Happiness, to me, is not the absence of suffering but the wisdom to discover joy and contentment amid life’s challenges.”
This Zen story poignantly illustrates that happiness is not the mere absence of pain and suffering but, instead, the capacity to unearth meaning, growth, and serenity amidst life’s tribulations.
The Energy Of Mindfulness for Embracing Pain
Practising mindfulness breathing can give us the inner strength to embrace pain and suffering. Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Zen Buddhist master, elucidates the art of finding happiness amid suffering in his book, “No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Success.” This practical guide empowers us to tackle life’s problems, both minor and monumental, with equanimity.
Wrapping Up
In life, there are no rewards without risks, just as there is no destination without a journey. Isabel Allende aptly captures this sentiment: “There is no light without shadow, just as there is no happiness without pain.” Embracing pain and suffering as part of our journey is the path to true happiness and fulfilment.
In 2015, I was on a two-week business trip to Norway, a journey that left a lasting impression.
During my stay, I had the privilege of exploring Oslo, Bergen, and Stavanger. This was my first visit to this enchanting Scandinavian realm, and what struck me profoundly was the Norwegians’ profound affinity for Nature.
Their deep-rooted connection to the outdoors spoke volumes about their love for Nature.
Although my primary purpose was business; regrettably, the time constraints kept me from experiencing some of Norway’s most splendid natural wonders—such as the ethereal Northern Lights, the majestic Fjords, and the awe-inspiring waterfalls that dot the landscape.
Nonetheless, being stationed in Stavanger allowed me to seize a weekend opportunity: the chance to hike to Preikestolen, also called Pulpit Rock. Being an ardent nature lover, I did want to miss this opportunity. One of my Norwegian colleagues agreed to accompany me. Hiking is deeply ingrained in Norwegian culture, an emblem of their profound appreciation for Nature.
I had no prior experience of hiking in mountainous terrain. The Preikestolen hike, boasting an elevation gain of approximately 500 meters and steep sections, is moderately challenging. Fortunately, the weather smiled upon us that weekend, gracing us with abundant sunlight that facilitated our ascent. Equipped with hiking gear, thanks to my colleague’s foresight.
I couldn’t wait to embark on this mountain hike.
I couldn’t fathom missing this golden opportunity as an ardent nature enthusiast. The view before me appeared like heaven had descended upon Earth, a realm of unspoiled purity and invigorating freshness. My eagerness to embark on this mountainous journey was palpable.
A mix of excitement and nervousness bubbled inside me, but I was ready to embrace the challenge and devour the incredible views along the way.
Our journey from Stavanger to Pulpit Point involved a ferry ride—a mesmerizing expanse of boundless sea, a sight that spoke volumes about Norway’s awe-inspiring beauty. In the face of such natural grandeur, words felt inadequate.
The round trip demanded roughly five hours of our time, an endeavour that I remarkably completed without incident despite my prior lack of hiking experience.
Anatoli Boukreev’s words encapsulate the very essence of mountain hiking: “Mountains are not stadiums where I satisfy my ambition to achieve, they are the cathedrals where I practice my religion.”
This sentiment encapsulates the profound impact of mountainous hikes. It implies that these peaks are not mere physical challenges or arenas for personal conquest; instead, they are sacred spaces where individuals forge a spiritual connection with Nature, transcending personal ambitions for a more profound sense of purpose.
Anatoli Boukreev’s words resonated with my personal experience from this hike.
Photo by Oleksandr P on Pexels.com. Navigating Life’s Transitions.
A friend of mine was in tears last week as she told me that her son was recently made redundant and has now been forced to join another company in a different city.
She was concerned and worried about his move and the significant career transition he had to go through.
Humanity is currently experiencing a chaotic world. In this world, life transitions are frequent. Mastering the skills to manage changes and transitions therefore becomes crucial.
“Your life is a story of transition. You are always leaving one chapter behind while moving on to the next.” – Anonymous.
From the time we crawl out of the womb, we experience change. Many changes happen during our lifetime. Change invariably happens as we transition to a new phase in life, moving from infancy, childhood to adolescence, adulthood to old age.
We may not always be prepared for the changes, but we accept them and move on, sometimes with resistance. So, change is not new for us, yet we don’t like it.
Revolutionary changes, climatic changes, and pandemics are affecting our lifestyles and throwing us off balance. Year 2020 was disruptive for all of us, and our routines have changed forever.
Somewhere in this life’s journey, we tend to carve out a comfort zone for ourselves. A pattern sets in. We get conditioned to a particular lifestyle and follow routines. Even a slight disturbance to the routine makes us cringe. We question the reason that rocked the boat. Even a positive change makes us feel unsettled and nervous.
What are life transitions?
A life transition is any change that impacts our life in a significant way.
Psychologist William Bridges’ famous book explains the challenging nature of transitions. According to him, the middle ground between the ending of something and a new beginning of something else, where things are uncertain, makes us feel unstable and anxious. The middle ground is a challenging no man’s land. Be it a positive change like a job promotion or a negative change like a death of a loved one, they both move us from our established routines and therefore become difficult to manage.
Difference between Change and Transition
There is a very subtle difference between change and transition.
According to William Bridges, author and expert on change leadership, change is considered external and tied to a certain situation. Transition is internal, the emotional process of how you react to the change. This difference is key to working with change and helping others navigate the transition process. We do not have any control over changes in our environment, whereas transition is how we react to and respond to changes and we can control our reactions
Why are transitions always stressful?
Fear of the unknown can send us in a million directions. Life transitions are stressful because they force us to let go of the familiar. Any change and growth generally begin with some loss. And whenever there is a loss, we feel anxious.
Life transitions can be positive or negative, planned or unplanned. But any change always causes some disruption and is life-altering.
Life transitions are complex, but they also have a positive side. Change is crucial if you have to convert dreams into reality. And therefore, going through the transition can leave us with life lessons.
A personal example of a significant life transition
“Life is like an airport runway. You have to make space constantly so new opportunities can land.” Paul Hanna.
New opportunities are positive changes but can move us from our established routines.
A few years back, I went through an anticipated positive change. I was promoted and asked to manage a complex technical integration program in a different city. On the one hand, there was the excitement of the new opportunity. On the other hand, there was nervousness, anxiety and fear of the security of the role I had left behind.
Added to it was the stress of moving to a different city and leaving behind my family. During this transition, I often questioned my decision and couldn’t understand why I had chosen this route. When routine gets disrupted, uncertainty creeps in. I was resilient enough to manage this stress and did not allow this disruption to prolong.
My life was always full of transitions during my childhood and later during my growing-up years in school and college. There was always a new routine in a new city, a new school or a new college. But there was always support and structure to guide me.
I have depended on this system in my personal and professional life and have therefore always taken less time to adapt and accept changes. Embracing change comes easy to me. Whenever I resist change, my energy levels dip, and this causes a different outcome.
My early years helped me build resilience, so even when I had to move to a different city on promotion, I overcame the stress and anxiety related to the relocation and the new job.
Mental distress during the transition
Fear creates anxiety. It can shut people out. The mental stress that some of us experienced during COVID was due to fear. During the lockdown, each of us went through different worries: fear of not having enough food stock, fear of falling sick due to the virus, fear of not being able to work or return to the office, fear of not knowing when the pandemic would end. Fear is the root cause of mental distress. Fear of the unknown during transition causes mental stress.
Navigating through transition
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates
Navigating through transition is not always easy. Many life transitions like high school to college or marriage into divorce or widowhood can be tough to manage.
Transitioning to retirement from abusy working life is another typical example ofwhen people face anxiety. Such twists and turns cannot be avoided. Organizational events like restructuring, mergers and acquisitions, and financial problems can bring changes.
You will have to face the transition as change will happen whether you like it or not. The only way to deal with such transitions is to acknowledge your emotions as the change impacts you and actively participate in the process.
According to William Bridges, the transition involves three stages:
An ending
A neutral zone
A new beginning
The first step is to acknowledge that change has occurred. Without being judgmental, make a note of what has changed.
The second stage of the neutral zone is the most uncomfortable transition stage. It is during this phase that physiological realignment takes place.
You may not know everything, but setting short-term goals at this stage can help you towards a new beginning and toovercome uncertainty. Keep an open mind and look forward to the beginning and the new possibilities it can create.
As you reach the third stage, some clarity will emerge. Consider this a new beginning. There could be new challenges, but there could also be small wins. Acknowledge these small wins.
How coaches and therapist can help navigate during the transitions
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”- Carl Jung.
In this process of what you choose to become, transition coaches can be a great help.
Be it life transition, career transition or any change, coaches can provide a supportive and productive coaching relationship and help you meet your goals while holding you accountable and keeping you focused on the new beginning. They can help you learn life skills and self-care when facing challenging situations.
A transition coach can partner with you in helping you develop a new leadership skill while navigating the career change.
Transition coaching can help you regain your self-confidence. It can help you see the bigger purpose by supporting you infinding a career that best suits your intrinsic needs and leveraging your potential.
A transition coach or a therapist can help you in the following:
1. Effective stress management if you are suffering from work-related or personal anxiety.
2. Help you strategize and create action plans to achieve your goals and desired career.
3. Overcoming fear and procrastination.
4. Holding you accountable and keeping you focused while you take actions to meet your goals.
5. Helping you align your role with your core values.
Victor Hugo has rightly said “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” This is true for all life and career transitions.
