“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”- Victor Frankl.

The question is how many of us have the willpower to change ourselves. It was a tough lesson for me.

I was all set to attend the most important meeting for the day. The meeting with the senior leadership team of my company was for reviewing my readiness for a promotion. My presentation was ready, and I had prepared it meticulously to impress my target audience.

I woke up in the morning with anxiety and curiosity in anticipation of the meeting outcomes. Partly nervous and partly excited about how the day would unfold. I had done everything in my control and prepared to make it a success.

Considering the traffic disruptions, I made sure I am in the office much before the meeting starts.

When I reached the office, my boss informed me that the meeting was cancelled. The cancellation was because of an unfortunate incident with one of the participant.

My mood tanked, and there was nothing I could do to snap out of it. I blamed my luck. This meeting was expected to change my career for the better. But as always, something cropped up that dashed my hopes.

I was hard on myself.

There was no explanation for this unfortunate happening. Everything looked like a failure.

This incident happened to me about 20 years back, but I remember how unsettling it was even to this day. Such events would upset me, and I would blame my fate. For days on end, I would be miserable.

I evaluated this incident based on my belief that luck would never favour me. I was stuck with this belief.

My thinking was neither rational nor logical. I was under the influence of cognitive bias that had made me believe that good things never happened to me.

Choosing one’s attitude

Hogg & Vaughan (2005) defined an attitude as “a relatively enduring organization of beliefs, feelings, and behavioral tendencies towards socially significant objects, groups, events or symbols.”

Different Psychologist’s have defined Attitudes in different ways. In summary, attitude is generally a positive or negative view of a person, place, event or object.

Attitudes can change since they are not carved on stone.

Celebrated Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl said about attitude, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Whenever something did not turn out the way I had expected, I would blame it on my luck. I had chosen to react to such incidents with frustration, bitterness and would make myself miserable. I learnt later in life that I was negatively looking at things. The power to change my way of thinking and, therefore, my behaviour was in my control. But I was making no effort to look at it with a different lens. I had used the freedom to chose my attitude, but I had made the wrong choice.

Developing a positive mindset

My coach helped me become aware of my self-limiting beliefs. I had to shift my mindset and develop a positive attitude towards life. It wasn’t easy at first. Because while I understood the negative thoughts held me back, I wondered how to shift my perspective. I had only seen failures so far.

The road to a successful life depended on my attitude. I could change my destiny if I let go of the beliefs that I had closely held for so long. The power of attitude could change my future. It took some time, but when the words did sink in, I started looking at things more positively. The turning point came one year after I changed my attitude to look at situations more positively. After that, there was no looking back. I was energized to make my dreams come true.

Lessons I learnt on how to achieve success through a positive mental attitude.

I had decided to let go of the negative thought pattern that had put me in a permanent state of pessimism. My coach was my accountability partner while I walked on this difficult journey. My experience taught me a few things.

• One needs an intense desire to change and achieve something, and only then it gets done. I had to remain strong in the face of repeated adverse events.
• Positive affirmation helped me to overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. Every morning I would say I will be successful in my career.
• I surrounded myself with friends, relatives and colleagues who inspired and motivated me.
• Instead of blaming myself for any bad event, I started looking for practical solutions to improve the situation. There was learning in every situation. Eventually, I was looking for opportunities in any adverse case and was striving to achieve my goal.
• My efforts helped me find my inner strength, which was a significant transformation for me.

William Ernest Henley very rightly said in his poem, Invictus: “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” One has to position oneself firmly in the driver’s seat and take control to reach your final destination. I did get to my destination and achieved all my goals.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you” -Brian Tracy.