Have you ever felt that happiness has eluded you for an eternity?
I certainly experienced that sentiment in 2023.
As the year draws to a close, I took a moment to reflect on the lessons learned and the moments of joy amid the challenges.
The past year brought its share of hardships. My 94-year-old mother endured a collapsed disc, rendering her bedridden for months. Subsequently, a diagnosis of dementia added complexity to her care. Managing her increasing agitation has made the role of a caregiver even more daunting. Throughout this ordeal, feelings of loneliness and sadness enveloped me, as I found it heart-wrenching to witness her suffering.
On a personal note, I underwent health issues. Despite assurances that cataract surgery is routine and boasts a 99.9% success rate, I found myself in the 0.1% with complications to navigate. It made me question why I fell into that statistical minority.
Adding to the challenges, a dear friend received a lung cancer diagnosis, embarking on a grueling journey of radiation and chemotherapy. Observing her wrestle with this life-threatening illness has been emotionally taxing.
The negatives seemed to outweigh the positives in 2023.
Desperate to fill the void of happiness, I sought solace in various activities – immersing myself in social media, binge-watching TV serials, and indulging in online shopping. However, the happiness derived from these pursuits was fleeting, leaving me feeling stuck.
Happiness Or Pleasure
I came to realize that what I was achieving was pleasure, not happiness. Pleasure may offer momentary satisfaction, but it lacks the enduring quality of true happiness.
In my quest for inner peace amidst chaos, a quote by Tibetan teacher Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche struck a chord: “You don’t need to look for peace, calm, joy because when you look for them, they will disappear.” This revelation prompted me to reconsider my approach to happiness.
Life’s stressors were overwhelming, and the more I pursued happiness, the more elusive it became.
Learning Is The First Step To Seeking Happiness
The first step towards true happiness is learning. “Remember this, that very little is needed to make a happy life.” — Marcus Aurelius.
In times of stress, I turned to “The Art Of Happiness” by The Dalai Lama. The book emphasized that external sources like wealth, worldly pursuits, or physical health are not the pathways to happiness. Happiness transcends external stimuli and requires a rejection of negative emotions while embracing positive ones.
Unlocking inner happiness became a priority. “When things change inside you, things change around you.” — Unknown.
While understanding the principles was straightforward, implementing them demanded a mental shift. I had habitually perceived my circumstances negatively, necessitating a conscious effort to adopt a positive perspective and find inner happiness.
Actions taken to unlock my inner happiness:
- Compiled a list of positives from 2023, no matter how few.
- Recognized and utilized the healing power of nature by creating a balcony garden.
- Practiced gratitude by maintaining a gratitude jar, shifting focus from complaints to blessings.
- Prioritized self-care through early morning deep breathing exercises and Yoga.
- Cultivated a sense of self-worth, aiding in coping with adversities and gaining perspective on negatives.
Aristotle’s belief resonates: “True happiness has to do with ‘internal goods’…instead of those far too popular ‘external goods.’”
Realizing that true happiness lies in appreciating life’s simple blessings has been my paramount lesson from 2023.