A friend of mine was in tears last week as she told me that her son was recently made redundant and has now been forced to join another company in a different city.
She was concerned and worried about his move and the significant career transition he had to go through.
Humanity is currently experiencing a chaotic world. In this world, life transitions are frequent. Mastering the skills to manage changes and transitions therefore becomes crucial.
“Your life is a story of transition. You are always leaving one chapter behind while moving on to the next.” – Anonymous.
From the time we crawl out of the womb, we experience change. Many changes happen during our lifetime. Change invariably happens as we transition to a new phase in life, moving from infancy, childhood to adolescence, adulthood to old age.
We may not always be prepared for the changes, but we accept them and move on, sometimes with resistance. So, change is not new for us, yet we don’t like it.
Revolutionary changes, climatic changes, and pandemics are affecting our lifestyles and throwing us off balance. Year 2020 was disruptive for all of us, and our routines have changed forever.
Somewhere in this life’s journey, we tend to carve out a comfort zone for ourselves. A pattern sets in. We get conditioned to a particular lifestyle and follow routines. Even a slight disturbance to the routine makes us cringe. We question the reason that rocked the boat. Even a positive change makes us feel unsettled and nervous.
What are life transitions?
A life transition is any change that impacts our life in a significant way.
Psychologist William Bridges’ famous book explains the challenging nature of transitions. According to him, the middle ground between the ending of something and a new beginning of something else, where things are uncertain, makes us feel unstable and anxious. The middle ground is a challenging no man’s land. Be it a positive change like a job promotion or a negative change like a death of a loved one, they both move us from our established routines and therefore become difficult to manage.
Difference between Change and Transition
There is a very subtle difference between change and transition.
According to William Bridges, author and expert on change leadership, change is considered external and tied to a certain situation. Transition is internal, the emotional process of how you react to the change. This difference is key to working with change and helping others navigate the transition process. We do not have any control over changes in our environment, whereas transition is how we react to and respond to changes and we can control our reactions
Why are transitions always stressful?
Fear of the unknown can send us in a million directions. Life transitions are stressful because they force us to let go of the familiar. Any change and growth generally begin with some loss. And whenever there is a loss, we feel anxious.
Life transitions can be positive or negative, planned or unplanned. But any change always causes some disruption and is life-altering.
Life transitions are complex, but they also have a positive side. Change is crucial if you have to convert dreams into reality. And therefore, going through the transition can leave us with life lessons.
A personal example of a significant life transition
“Life is like an airport runway. You have to make space constantly so new opportunities can land.” Paul Hanna.
New opportunities are positive changes but can move us from our established routines.
A few years back, I went through an anticipated positive change. I was promoted and asked to manage a complex technical integration program in a different city. On the one hand, there was the excitement of the new opportunity. On the other hand, there was nervousness, anxiety and fear of the security of the role I had left behind.
Added to it was the stress of moving to a different city and leaving behind my family. During this transition, I often questioned my decision and couldn’t understand why I had chosen this route. When routine gets disrupted, uncertainty creeps in. I was resilient enough to manage this stress and did not allow this disruption to prolong.
My life was always full of transitions during my childhood and later during my growing-up years in school and college. There was always a new routine in a new city, a new school or a new college. But there was always support and structure to guide me.
I have depended on this system in my personal and professional life and have therefore always taken less time to adapt and accept changes. Embracing change comes easy to me. Whenever I resist change, my energy levels dip, and this causes a different outcome.
My early years helped me build resilience, so even when I had to move to a different city on promotion, I overcame the stress and anxiety related to the relocation and the new job.
Mental distress during the transition
Fear creates anxiety. It can shut people out. The mental stress that some of us experienced during COVID was due to fear. During the lockdown, each of us went through different worries: fear of not having enough food stock, fear of falling sick due to the virus, fear of not being able to work or return to the office, fear of not knowing when the pandemic would end. Fear is the root cause of mental distress. Fear of the unknown during transition causes mental stress.
Navigating through transition
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates
Navigating through transition is not always easy. Many life transitions like high school to college or marriage into divorce or widowhood can be tough to manage.
Transitioning to retirement from a busy working life is another typical example of when people face anxiety. Such twists and turns cannot be avoided. Organizational events like restructuring, mergers and acquisitions, and financial problems can bring changes.
You will have to face the transition as change will happen whether you like it or not. The only way to deal with such transitions is to acknowledge your emotions as the change impacts you and actively participate in the process.
According to William Bridges, the transition involves three stages:
- An ending
- A neutral zone
- A new beginning
The first step is to acknowledge that change has occurred. Without being judgmental, make a note of what has changed.
The second stage of the neutral zone is the most uncomfortable transition stage. It is during this phase that physiological realignment takes place.
You may not know everything, but setting short-term goals at this stage can help you towards a new beginning and to overcome uncertainty. Keep an open mind and look forward to the beginning and the new possibilities it can create.
As you reach the third stage, some clarity will emerge. Consider this a new beginning. There could be new challenges, but there could also be small wins. Acknowledge these small wins.
How coaches and therapist can help navigate during the transitions
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”- Carl Jung.
In this process of what you choose to become, transition coaches can be a great help.
Be it life transition, career transition or any change, coaches can provide a supportive and productive coaching relationship and help you meet your goals while holding you accountable and keeping you focused on the new beginning. They can help you learn life skills and self-care when facing challenging situations.
A transition coach can partner with you in helping you develop a new leadership skill while navigating the career change.
Transition coaching can help you regain your self-confidence. It can help you see the bigger purpose by supporting you in finding a career that best suits your intrinsic needs and leveraging your potential.
A transition coach or a therapist can help you in the following:
1. Effective stress management if you are suffering from work-related or personal anxiety.
2. Help you strategize and create action plans to achieve your goals and desired career.
3. Overcoming fear and procrastination.
4. Holding you accountable and keeping you focused while you take actions to meet your goals.
5. Helping you align your role with your core values.
Victor Hugo has rightly said “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” This is true for all life and career transitions.