Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed with feelings of guilt as a mother, questioning whether you’re doing enough for your children or if you’re falling short in some way? Ask any career woman with kids; the answer would be a resounding YES.
Let’s delve into this common struggle with personal anecdotes and insights.
Prioritizing Ambition Post-Childbirth
As women, we marry and have children, but does that mean we give up our jobs and compromise on our ambition to utilize our skills? Our priorities change, no doubt, after childbirth, but our commitment to our profession and ourselves should not be impacted.
As women, we often face the dilemma of balancing motherhood with career aspirations. Do we give up our jobs and compromise on our ambition to raise a family?
My personal journey speaks volumes to this question.
Transitioning to Motherhood
When my son was born, my husband’s job transfer to New Delhi prompted a significant life change. I resigned from my job in Mumbai and joined my husband in New Delhi.
After resigning from my job in Mumbai, I prioritized settling into our new environment and cherishing precious moments with my newborn.
I did not look for a job for the first six months since I needed that time to settle down. I also wanted to spend time with my baby and watch him grow.
Seeking Support and Returning to Work
After six months, I resumed my career search, supported by my parents, who provided invaluable assistance until we found suitable childcare.
I requested my parents’ assistance, and they arrived and stayed with us until we discovered a suitable daycare for my son.
Even after we found a daycare, my parents stayed with us until my son became accustomed to attending the daycare. Children enjoy spending time and playing with other kids, and my son relished going to the daycare.
The daycare owner was a very kind-hearted lady who only had five kids to look after, and she would make sure they were looked after well. In fact, I would call her about four or five times in the day to inquire about my son. Did he eat his food, drink his milk, and play well? I would ask her several questions, and she would patiently respond.
Creative Solutions for Childcare
Navigating various relocations, I devised innovative solutions to ensure my son’s well-being while pursuing my career. From trusted daycare’s to empowering him with responsibilities at home, each strategy contributed to his growth and independence.
My son continued with daycare while in elementary school, and my parents helped me when I was transferred to Pune. When we moved to Bangalore, my son was still in elementary school, and he refused to go to a daycare.
So, I gave him a set of our home keys, which I had put in a small neck chain, and our domestic help would pick him up when his school bus came to drop him off.
She would bring him home, help him unlock the door and get in, help him change clothes, serve him milk and snacks, and accompany him to the playground in our building to play with his friends.
Once I returned from work, she would leave for the day. This continued until he was in intermediate school, after which he had learnt to be independent and responsible. He would come home from school, unlock the house, serve himself lunch, do his homework, and wait for us to return from the office, after which he would eagerly wait to go and play.
Involving Children in Career Journey
There were times when he would accompany me when I travelled for work. Once I recollect, I had to travel to Singapore for a business meeting. Since it was summer holidays, my son travelled with me.
He enjoyed watching TV in his hotel room, swimming in the hotel pool, and reading books while I went to my meetings. In the evenings, I would take him out for sightseeing.
There were instances when I would take him to my office, show him where I work, share stories about my work and achievements, and increase his curiosity.
Incorporating my son into my professional life fostered his curiosity and understanding of my commitments. Whether travelling together or visiting my workplace, these experiences enriched his perspective and strengthened our bond.
Overcoming Mom Guilt
Despite moments of guilt, I persevered, recognizing that prioritizing my career didn’t diminish my dedication as a mother. Seeking support, maintaining open communication, and staying involved in my son’s life were crucial in overcoming these challenges.
When I look back and think about his upbringing, I can see that he has developed himself into a very responsible and disciplined individual. He is proud of his mom and grateful for making him accountable and independent at a young age. He has observed me balancing my family and professional responsibilities and understood its importance.
While I continued feeling guilty and had challenging moments when he was sick, I did not compromise and give up my job. I am grateful to my husband, parents, and neighbours, who supported me and ensured that my son’s upbringing did not suffer because of my ambition.
One thing that I learned was to ask for support. Many times, women don’t ask for help and, therefore, suffer. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. If you have to follow your passion and do something in life for yourself, then you have to build a good support system.
Conclusion
Building a solid support system, practicing self-care, effectively managing time, and transparent communication are essential to balancing motherhood and career.
Remember, sacrificing your career isn’t the answer; it’s about creating a fulfilling life for yourself and your family. Let’s embrace the challenges, defy guilt, and thrive as empowered mothers and professionals.
As we celebrate Mother’s Day today, we must recognize the significance of articles like these for all working mothers. Our journey is marked by resilience, determination, and unwavering love for our families.
Let this be a reminder that our struggles and triumphs are shared experiences, and together, we empower each other to thrive in both our professional and maternal roles.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the incredible mothers out there!!